Once Upon a time ….

Cinderella endured torment from her stepmother and stepsisters. Desperate to seek help without alerting her vigilant stepmother, she then wanted to share her challenges with someone whom she could freely discuss her situation with discreetly.

The Beast from “Beauty and the Beast” wanted to share how traumatized he felt about being turned into a beast. He was scared nobody would see him as the prince he once was, hidden behind his beastly appearance. He hoped to find someone who’d understand and believe in the prince trapped inside him.

The little mouse Jerry from “Tom and Jerry” yearned for someone who comprehended the complex dynamics between him and Tom. Uncertain whether he was the aggressor or his actions were a reaction to Tom’s actions, Jerry wanted to seek clarity in this tangled relationship, questioning how much longer this cycle could persist.

What Cinderella, Beast and Jerry were looking for was a Safe space.

Fears of judgement, lack of trust, vulnerability, past experiences, shame, and societal norms inhibit sharing. The word “safe” carries an inherent sense of security.

When someone says “I am safe,” it often brings a sense of relief and calm. It signifies that the person free from danger or threat. It creates a feeling of security, both physically and emotionally, instilling a sense of comfort and reassurance. Saying “I am safe” can alleviate anxiety and fear, allowing one to relax, breathe easier, and feel protected.

When someone says “I am in a safe space” it means they feel really comfortable and protected. It’s like being in a place where they can be themselves without worrying about being judged, questioned or hurt. In a safe space, individuals feel free to express themselves authentically, share their thoughts and emotions openly, and explore vulnerabilities without fear of criticism or harm.

What steps can we take to establish “A Safe Space” for friends, family, colleagues, or anyone seeking to confide their deepest feelings, share thoughts, narrate their journey, or discuss what they’re experiencing?

Imagine sitting under a cozy blanket of understanding and support, surrounded by an atmosphere where every word finds a warm welcome, no matter how heavy or light.

Here’s how we can make that happen for anyone looking for that Safe Space

Open the doors wide: When someone needs to talk, let’s invite them in with an open heart. Show them they’re welcomed and safe in our space.

Our secret garden: Imagine our space as a secret garden where whispers aren’t shared beyond its boundaries. Promise them that whatever they share stays between us, just like whispers in the wind.

Empathy is our compass: Understanding their feelings, seeing the world through their eyes, is how we can connect deeply.

The art of listening: Listening without interruption, letting their story unfold at their pace. Listening to the emotions within the words, the tales within the pain, and the intricate complexities within the inner chaos.

Validating feelings: Imagine each emotion they express is a precious gem. Let’s pick up each one, hold it up to the light, and say, “I understand,” or “That must be tough.”

Offering Gentle Support: Instead of swooping in with advice, opinions or views offer them a soft cushion of support. Sometimes, all they need is a listening ear, not a problem solver. Avoid shifting the focus to your own experiences when they’re sharing theirs.

Respecting their journey: Their story is their own, and they’re the storyteller. Respecting their pace, their twists and turns, asking to open as much as they want but never pushing.

A secure Haven: They can dock their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement.

Leaving room for growth: Like a garden that blooms with care, our space is where they can grow. Encouraging, supporting, and nurturing their journey is what makes it a safe haven.

Joy in Sharing: Their happiness post-sharing confirms the safety and warmth within our space.

And this is exactly what a Coach offers – a safe space. A safe space to speak openly, to share thoughts and emotions, uncovering not just surface feelings but delving into the unspoken complexities steering their life. It’s a space for exploring the uncharted within, revealing the words never voiced and discovering emotions they never knew existed.

In a safe place that a Coach offers, vulnerability becomes strength, unsaid thoughts find words, and hidden feelings lead to self-discovery.

You can connect with Venkateshwari N Click Here

Venkateshwari N

Venkateshwari N is a Coach currently Pursuing ACC- ICF. She has 18 years' expertise in Customer Experience strategy across diverse organizations. As a trailblazer, she headed CX units, later consulting for prominent brands on CX and community building. Her intrigue with mental health led me to integrate hypnotherapy and NLP into my skill set. She passionately shares a riveting narrative of leadership, transformation, habit building and building a strong relationship with one'self. You can connect with Venkateshwari N Click Here

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22 thoughts on “Once Upon a time ….

  1. Beautifully articulated, especially with the 3 different stories. Yes, the elements you have indicated to create such a space are good, however, the challenge always is the Coach also to develop a few skills to create such a space. Inadvertently, the coach could bring in his/her ‘past experience’, during a conversation to destroy such a safe space. Hence, the coaches need to focus on building necessary competency such a seemingly simple, but complex intent. Kudos to you for bringing out the nuances, very well.

    • Thank you for taking time to read this blog. I totally agree a coach needs to work on themselves to build necessary competencies to offer a safe space.

  2. Udayakumar Gopalakrishnan

    Venkateswari – Creating a safe space for clients is a benign act of providing and realizing a psychological touch of sacredness in the Coaching process. Hence it is all the more imperative for a Coach to be mindfully supportive. Well written!

  3. An amazing linkage of the stories we have heard and the concept of safe space.. hard hitting and easy to releate..! Well articulated 🙂

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