Flawless and Whole Just as You are

There is nothing to be fixed because you are not broken!

How would you feel interacting with a person who sees you as whole, resourceful and creative no matter how much you may have been doubting yourself or questioning your capabilities? This is exactly what happens during a coaching session.

What is Coaching?

This comes as a very intriguing question because you see everyone using the term coach and coaching. People often confuse it with counselling or training. I had a different Idea of coaching till I got trained by an ICF (International Coaching Federation) accredited institute. ICF maintains high standards for coaching in an unregulated profession. Since I am an ICF professional, I adhere to their ethical standards.

Here is the ICF definition:

ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership.

Coaching time could be less than 10 min and extend up to an hour depending on need.

Where does coaching help?

When we want:

• To grow and excel.
• Clarity on purpose/goal.
• To know how to reach the goals.
• To overcome challenges.
• Get unstuck.

Partnering with a coach can change your life, setting you on a path to greater personal and professional fulfilment.

There are still places where coaching has not reached and when I tell people I am a coach, I must mention that I am a Life and Leadership Coach. Many a times there is a follow up question on what that is exactly, and this happens with professionals as well who either have not heard of Leadership Coaching or they have heard it only in the context of a Coach as in coaching for various academic subjects, competitive examinations or a sports coach. This I am mentioning in a very specific context of the place where I stay.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” is a famous quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Coaching is a Client Centric approach. The focus in coaching remains on the person and not on the problem. The idea is that when the person changes, the perspective, the mindset, the limiting belief, doubts, everything around the person changes.

Coaching is present and future oriented.

What Coaching is NOT

Coaching isn’t Advising, Counselling, Training, Mentoring, Consultation or Therapy.

Coaching is a modality which cannot be diluted by any other, yet coaching can be used with all other modalities.

Mentoring and guidance can be done as a separate session, not along with coaching.

Training is done for skill development in a particular area just like coaches undergo coach training to become coaches.

Advising is a strict no-no since coaching is based on the spiritual concept that everyone has the answers within, only some layers need to be peeled to get to our whole, resourceful core. “Ask more and tell less” is the mantra!

Therapy or Counselling would work when the client may not be in a space or state to think for themselves.

The Process of Coaching

Involves:

1. Goal Setting: Identifying clear goals/objectives; the outcome of a coaching conversation.
2. Assessment: Evaluating current situations and challenges.
3. Strategy Development: Creation of actionable plans by the Coachee
4. Accountability: Empowering the coachee to take responsibility.
5. Sustainability: Encouraging for a sustainable change.

The process of coaching involves modalities like:

• Behavioural Intelligence
• Emotional Intelligence
• Spiritual Intelligence
• Psychology
• Neuroscience
• NLP

The study of these subjects helps the coaches to have a holistic view.

A very crucial aspect of coaching is the coaching space which is a safe non-judgmental space where the coach is fully present, fully centered and grounded in a “coach state”, (coined by Robert Dilts) wearing the “Coach” Hat.

The aspect of judgment comes very naturally to us, yet when in the space of coaching a coach is expected to keep all their judgements and biases aside to provide the best services which serves their client. That is the reason, becoming a coach comes with practice and coaches work on themselves before they work with others.

What makes coaching different from other modalities is that the coach sees the coachee as equal. A coach is a “thinking partner”. There’s a partnership, not a Teacher – student, Mentor-mentee or a Parent-child relationship. The following play a huge role for being in a great coach:

• Active Listening
• Trust and Rapport
• Empathy
• Compassionate Curiosity
• Confidentiality
• Objectivity

Coaching is a two-way process, therefore participation from the coachee is required voluntarily even in a sponsorship.

A coach is not your friend to make you feel better, is there to challenge your thinking to get the best out of you!

A gap between sessions is a must for the incubation period of the insights gained during coaching and to check the progress of the actionable steps.

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