Learning to Trust My Knowing: A Coach’s Journey Beyond Scripts – Blog by Meetu Mohanty

What if the confusion you are trying so hard to avoid is shaping the coach you are becoming?

I still remember the first time I came across coaching—not as a buzzword, but as a profession. A space where conversations could create awareness, shifts, and sometimes transformation. Like many new coaches, I stepped in with curiosity and excitement, wanting to learn everything possible to become better each day.

And so began the journey.

Books became companions. Webinars filled weekends. Certifications, frameworks, podcasts, mentor coaching sessions—there was always something new to absorb. Beneath all this learning was one sincere intention: to serve clients better, create meaningful impact, and build a profession that could sustain us while allowing us to contribute voluntarily whenever possible.

But somewhere along the way, coaching stopped being just a skill I was learning. It started changing me as a person.

Through coaching, I was introduced to behavioral intelligence, emotional intelligence, positive psychology, neuroscience, spiritual intelligence, and NLP more deeply than ever before. Slowly, I realized people are rarely just “difficult” or “unmotivated.” Human beings are layered. Their behaviour often carries stories underneath it.

And then came the phase no one prepares you for: confusion.

One book would say, “Tell me more” is a powerful question. A webinar facilitator would say, “Avoid ‘tell me more’; it’s not powerful enough.” One mentor emphasized silence. Another spoke about active intervention.

As a relatively new coach, I often wondered: Who is right?

I later realized something important.

The power of a question does not lie in the script alone. “Tell me more” can either deepen a conversation beautifully or fall flat. What makes a question powerful is how, when, and with what intention it is asked.

Sometimes chaos really does lead to clarity.

I slowly began to understand that every coach, trainer, and author speaks from their own lens, experiences, and philosophy. I do not have to follow every voice. I can choose what aligns with my values, presence, and way of connecting with clients.

Perhaps that is where learning to trust my knowing truly began.

One of the greatest gifts of this journey has been making mistakes.

There were sessions I replayed repeatedly in my head. Sessions where I felt I could have listened better, paused longer, or asked something differently. Initially, those moments felt heavy. But over time, they made me more compassionate—not only toward clients, but toward myself.

An NLP presupposition says: People are doing the best they can with the knowledge, resources, and awareness available to them in that moment.

I hold that close now.

To coaches who walk away from sessions thinking, “I could have done better,” maybe you are right. But perhaps you also did the best you could in that moment. And the beautiful part is: going forward, you can grow. Reflection sharpens us. Awareness refines us. Learning deepens our presence.

Because coaching is not merely about asking clever questions. It is about listening deeply, staying engaged, being present, and holding space without judgment. Those are not boxes we tick after certification. They are practices tested in every conversation.

I still do not think I have “arrived.” Maybe none of us truly do.

The journey continues.

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Afterthoughts

Does Coaching Solve All Problems?

No.

Coaching is powerful, but it is not a replacement for therapy, counselling, mentoring, training, consulting, or emotional healing. A coach cannot and should not try to become everything.

What coaching does do beautifully is help people understand themselves better. It uncovers blind spots, patterns, assumptions, and hidden strengths. It gently reminds people that many answers already exist within them.

And perhaps that is the quiet magic of coaching.

It may not solve every problem, but authentic coaching has no harmful side effects when practiced ethically within its boundaries. If it does not immediately create transformation, it can still create awareness, reflection, clarity, or pause. Coaching may not always “fix,” but genuine coaching rooted in presence and non-judgment does not damage—it creates space.

Respecting those boundaries is also part of becoming an impactful coach.

Coaches Are Not Gods. They Are Human.

Many of us unconsciously place coaches and mentor coaches on pedestals.

But coaches are human beings first—capable of biases, judgments, emotional overwhelm, stress, exhaustion, and hard days, just like everyone else. The difference is that we are trained to consciously set aside our judgments and biases when we step into the role of coaching.

I remember a mentor coaching interaction early in my journey that deeply shook my confidence. The feedback felt harsh. At that time, I kept wondering, How can someone trained in coaching sound so unlike a coach?

Yet strangely, that experience also shaped me.

It created compassionate curiosity within me. Instead of only asking, “Why was this said?” I slowly began asking, “What might this person be carrying?”

Some disappointments also help us reflect on the imperfections we all carry. They gently pull us away from idealizing people and invite us into a more grounded understanding of humanity.

I am allowed to admire someone’s contribution without ignoring what feels unhealthy.

That realization was freeing.

It reminded me of another NLP presupposition: People are not their behaviour. Human beings are always more than a single reaction, a difficult moment, or an imperfect interaction.

Perhaps growth is not about placing people on pedestals, but about learning to hold both awareness and compassion at the same time.

The journey continues—not toward perfection, but toward deeper awareness, stronger presence, and learning to trust our knowing a little more each day.

If you are a coach somewhere in the early years of your journey, what has been one moment of confusion, learning, or self-discovery that helped you trust your own knowing a little more?