{"id":1354,"date":"2026-06-07T15:33:50","date_gmt":"2026-06-07T15:33:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/?p=1354"},"modified":"2026-06-07T15:33:50","modified_gmt":"2026-06-07T15:33:50","slug":"beyond-the-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/beyond-the-i\/","title":{"rendered":"BEYOND THE \u201cI\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>The Coach\u2019s First Question to Themselves \u2013 Who Am I?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we step into the world of coaching, one question comes up very often: what brought you here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most of the time, the answer, perhaps a little clich\u00e9, is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I like helping others, or people naturally open up to me and share their thoughts and vulnerabilities. And somewhere, that begins to make us feel that we could be good coaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But along with that, something else quietly enters the space, the \u201cI\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As we begin sitting in real coaching conversations, many of us notice something uncomfortable. We may be trained, we may be \u201ccompetent\u201d, and yet\u2026 something feels missing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We find ourselves still struggling to become good coaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And in that search, we often start adding more: more certifications, more frameworks, more learning, hoping that one of them will bridge this gap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But what is this gap, really?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most of us come from structured, professional backgrounds. We carry rich experiences, achievements, and everything we have learned along the way. Quite a few times it reflects involuntarily in our body language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And without even realizing it, we carry our \u201cI\u201d into the session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And that\u2026 is the gap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, what is the first step to bridge it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Before skills, before tools, before presence, there is a quieter question a coach must sit with:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Who am I?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Over time, one answer has stayed with me, something I am still exploring:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am \u201c<strong>NOBODY.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, this can sound strange\u2026 even uncomfortable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI am nobody\u201d is not about lacking self-worth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is not about putting ourselves down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is not about losing who we are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is about something far simpler, and far deeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is about letting go of the \u201cI\u201d in the moment, because the moment that \u201cI\u201d enters:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We start shaping the space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We start forming opinions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We subtly begin to direct.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We feel the need to perform\u2026 to ask the \u201cright\u201d question\u2026 to have a \u201cgood\u201d session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">sometimes, without intending to, a quiet power dynamic also slips in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And all of this takes us a little away from what coaching really asks of us, to be fully with the client, just as they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, what happens when a coach becomes a <strong>NOBODY<\/strong>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It removes that interference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Something shifts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Presence stops being something we try to create, it is just there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Curiosity becomes lighter, more natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Listening deepens on its own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The need to prove anything begins to fall away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We start exuding a warm and loving presence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And what remains is simple, but powerful, <strong>being the space.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A space where the client can meet themselves, without influence, without direction, without judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is the work. That is the shift.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And how does one arrive here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not by adding more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not by collecting more certifications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But by gently noticing, in moment after moment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>What part of \u201cI\u201d am I bringing in right now?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And then, just as gently, setting it aside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Again, and again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is not easy. It is not a one-time realization. It is a practice we keep returning to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It reminds me of a scene from Game of Thrones, where Arya Stark is repeatedly asked: Who is the girl? She cannot move forward until she lets go of every identity she holds and becomes \u201cno one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps being a coach asks for something similar, learning to be a nobody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A Reflection to Sit With<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The next time you step into a conversation, coaching or otherwise, pause for a moment and ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What part of \u201cI\u201d am I bringing into this space?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Coach\u2019s First Question to Themselves \u2013 Who Am I? When we step into the world of coaching, one question comes up very often: what brought you here? Most of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":50,"featured_media":1356,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>BEYOND THE \u201cI\u201d - ICF Chennai<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/beyond-the-i\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"BEYOND THE \u201cI\u201d - ICF Chennai\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Coach\u2019s First Question to Themselves \u2013 Who Am I? 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