{"id":1354,"date":"2026-06-07T15:33:50","date_gmt":"2026-06-07T15:33:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/?p=1354"},"modified":"2026-06-07T15:33:50","modified_gmt":"2026-06-07T15:33:50","slug":"beyond-the-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/beyond-the-i\/","title":{"rendered":"BEYOND THE \u201cI\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The Coach\u2019s First Question to Themselves \u2013 Who Am I?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we step into the world of coaching, one question comes up very often: what brought you here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of the time, the answer, perhaps a little clich\u00e9, is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I like helping others, or people naturally open up to me and share their thoughts and vulnerabilities. And somewhere, that begins to make us feel that we could be good coaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But along with that, something else quietly enters the space, the \u201cI\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we begin sitting in real coaching conversations, many of us notice something uncomfortable. We may be trained, we may be \u201ccompetent\u201d, and yet\u2026 something feels missing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We find ourselves still struggling to become good coaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in that search, we often start adding more: more certifications, more frameworks, more learning, hoping that one of them will bridge this gap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what is this gap, really?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of us come from structured, professional backgrounds. We carry rich experiences, achievements, and everything we have learned along the way. Quite a few times it reflects involuntarily in our body language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And without even realizing it, we carry our \u201cI\u201d into the session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2026 is the gap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the first step to bridge it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before skills, before tools, before presence, there is a quieter question a coach must sit with:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who am I?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over time, one answer has stayed with me, something I am still exploring:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am \u201cNOBODY.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, this can sound strange\u2026 even uncomfortable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI am nobody\u201d is not about lacking self-worth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not about putting ourselves down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not about losing who we are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is about something far simpler, and far deeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is about letting go of the \u201cI\u201d in the moment, because the moment that \u201cI\u201d enters:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We start shaping the space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We start forming opinions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We subtly begin to direct.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel the need to perform\u2026 to ask the \u201cright\u201d question\u2026 to have a \u201cgood\u201d session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

sometimes, without intending to, a quiet power dynamic also slips in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And all of this takes us a little away from what coaching really asks of us, to be fully with the client, just as they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what happens when a coach becomes a NOBODY<\/strong>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It removes that interference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something shifts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Presence stops being something we try to create, it is just there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Curiosity becomes lighter, more natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Listening deepens on its own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The need to prove anything begins to fall away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We start exuding a warm and loving presence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And what remains is simple, but powerful, being the space.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A space where the client can meet themselves, without influence, without direction, without judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is the work. That is the shift.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And how does one arrive here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not by adding more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not by collecting more certifications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But by gently noticing, in moment after moment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What part of \u201cI\u201d am I bringing in right now?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then, just as gently, setting it aside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again, and again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is not easy. It is not a one-time realization. It is a practice we keep returning to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It reminds me of a scene from Game of Thrones, where Arya Stark is repeatedly asked: Who is the girl? She cannot move forward until she lets go of every identity she holds and becomes \u201cno one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps being a coach asks for something similar, learning to be a nobody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Reflection to Sit With<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next time you step into a conversation, coaching or otherwise, pause for a moment and ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What part of \u201cI\u201d am I bringing into this space?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Coach\u2019s First Question to Themselves \u2013 Who Am I? When we step into the world of coaching, one question comes up very often: what brought you here? Most of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":50,"featured_media":1356,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/50"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1354"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1354\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1357,"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1354\/revisions\/1357"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1356"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/icfchennai.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}